but she told me I was breaking her peace but it was her saying your a reminder, a bandage I have to leave so the wound i(she) healed never reopens, so she found another person with in weeks of breaking up giving me the same trauma that she had but more so making me feel like I gave my all, my time, love, experience, friends, family, my heart, vurnibilty, my soul, my faith, my future hopes and desires is for nothing leaving me feel that even if I try my hardest I would never have anything I want in life. So I desides to not talk with the new girl cause I need to heal on my own, I just wish she would realize that what she was doing was exactly these and she knows what kind of place I had given her, the place I had given her was deserved only for that person I had felt was my soulmate and hope is a double edge soward guys it makes you blead while ur standing waiting, I hope I mature enough to realize these kind of things before they happen and to find a person that I can be there for and
I hate the fact that what you don't heal comes back around to haunt you Now I understand that my ex never healed from her past and she repeated what happened in the past with me, I mean I was talking to a girl the other night and we were talking about some hard stuff but I was num to the feeling of comfort she was giving me and I understood that I am not ready to accept any kind of reassurance from another girl or else it would be me taking and taking till she feels like she gave enough to expect back from me then I would say that am not ready cause I wouldn't want to stay on ቁስል ፒላስተር I was using to heal now it's a reminder of my past, so then I would look for another source validation but In the process hurt the other girl and all of these I noticed from how I enteracted with my ex during a one year period, how in the beginning she was afraid then confident then in the end when I expected effort back she became confident enough to say no directly but to be continued in another post