Hey, lemme share my story with you n maybe, it might help. My life has been fucked up, confusing and lost for the past 8 yrs. Imagine😭. Heck, it only started getting better in November this year. I was always dicovering new lows every fuckin day.i cant seem to get any thing right. I thought about suicide n almost did it. But, one thing kept me from going through it. I am not a coward; i wont end my life by my own hands. I struggled a lot. More than words can explain, 8 yrs. As u can see, i have been there. However, since November i have been trending upwards n now, I am pushing harder. What did i do? I started taking responsibility n try to be positive. Trust me, it's hard. I realized i only have one life. So, i need to take care of it. Emotions play a big part learn to control them. Emotional intelligence. The main thing is learning everyday. Remember, there r a lot of self-help book, psychology books n stuff. U dont to suffer without any knowledge. Make yourself smart, get better. Knowledge is power. I now read everyday, listen to audio books. Be smart about life. As i told u, i am just getting started n i have seen my life turn from pure darkness to grey. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. One last thing, dont have any hope on people. No matter how much they love u. They sometimes cant come through. So, learn to be alone n work hard. Hope I have said something helpful. I would say good luck but u dont need luck. U got this. U r all u need.