If you truly wish to end your life, but don't want those consequences, I suggest you to dare to live. Completely and radically change your life to the point you don't recognize yourself. By this, I mostly mean doing good things and making your life better. For example, Have you ever thought of dropping out of school and doing something independent? I can certainly tell you that dropping out is much easier than killing yourself. I hope you know what I mean when I say: Instead of ending your life, append a new life onto it.