This is horrible, i'm really sorry to hear this. Idk what to say about it tho, I know i have no idea how you're feeling rn. I have plans on marrying beteklil too, and I have a special place for virginity.
I have little knowledge about this tho, I know that people who masturbate can't have teklil, since they ruined their innocence by their own will. I don't think you will be prohibited from Teklil for 1. It's not something you willingly did, and 2. You were too young to feel satisfaction.
But on the other side, teklil needs physical virginity, and so this might count too. Don't get into conclusions yet tho, i'm just stating my opinions based on the little i know. But lekifum ledegum speak to your nefs abat. It might be blasphemy to do teklil carelessly, so make sure you communicate with your nefs abat.
Tbh for the part on whether you should tell your family or not, idk what to say. It's really worrying indeed. But just as an advice, if you really don't think it will do good to any of you, it's better to not say it. By that i mean, think thoroughly what trouble they could bring, and how it helps you in your life. Somethings are better untold since they bring more disaster and maybe not of help to anyone. But again, you must have felt horrible, and maybe keeping this to yourself might be hurting you alot, and it's better said, if so say it. I'm not the one to give you this advice since again, i don't know what it must feel to you, gin, if you plan to do it merely to avenge that person, it's better not to. What the man did was beyond disgusting and horrible, and can't be justifyed in anyway, and tbh, not even you, but even his wife and children don't deserve a man like him; but again, i can't be on your place, so think well about the consequences that will follow, and be mentally ready for them. Then that's your decision to make.
Beterefe may God help you, sis, i really appreciate how you're considerate. Stay strong, hugs ❤️
Nov 03, 2020