learn ejaculatory control, you must become familiar with your individual sexual response cycle, the one that’s unique to your body. Lasting longer relies on your ability to extend your plateau phase—the time between excitement and orgasm. By learning to recognize the different sensations you feel as you become highly aroused, you can lengthen your plateau phase so you don’t hit your point of no return before you’re ready. The key to this is masturbation. “Masturbation allows you to tune into your state of arousal,” Sugrue explains, “and fine-tune it so you don’t come until you want to. It’s a training process. Every time you last a little longer, your knowledge and confidence increase, and your anxiety level decreases, all of which help you gain better control.”
To learn ejaculatory control, sex therapists suggest masturbating several times a week for about 30 to 60 minutes per session. Find a time and place where you can be alone and feel at ease. You might like to shower, meditate, stretch, or relax some other way beforehand. Then surround yourself with whatever turns you on: candles, music, erotic art or videos. But don’t use mood-altering drugs of any kind. They’ll distort your body’s signals and your ability to recognize them.
Undress and begin to explore your body from head to toe. Touch and massage every square inch. Don’t rush through nongenital self-appreciation. It’s not something to get over with. “Appreciating total-body sensuality can be very helpful in learning ejaculatory control,” Klein explains. “It’s as though experiencing pleasure in other parts of your body takes pressure off your penis to ejaculate.”
Move on to masturbation slowly. Savor the sensations as you stroke your inner thighs.
Next, stroke your penis gently. Remember, the goal here is simply to experience how it feels to touch yourself. During masturbation for ejaculatory control, sex therapists generally recommend working up to 15 minutes of self-touch per session. “Not that 15 minutes is as long as you should last,” Weston explains, “or that you should always last that long. It’s arbitrary. However, if you can learn to last 15 minutes, you can usually last as long as you’d like.”
Oct 22, 2020