Our God is also our father, don't worry he will forgive you, just confess to a spritual father u would find nearby but before that try to read psalms of David every day it's all about asking for forgiveness, Remember when David sins he said in Psalm 51:3 “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever beforeme" and then see many teachings in voice, video, find in you tube and also i can give u even many different tg channels and groups there are people there who are in the same feeling as u, Ayimiregnim endatil weladite amlak kante gar tihun May his mercy be upon u my brother