First of all I want to thank you because you are being genuine and looking for aswers. As a psychologist and also a health professional here is my advice. 1. You are on the age where you doubt everything that you are thought in your life before, looking for new perspective, new ideas, questioning norms, cultures and of course exploration of your sexual identity. This is normal and you need not to worry. 2. If it was the right thing to do you would have done it already. But since you are doubting yourself there is a part of you that refuse the action which shows you are not sure of the consequences of your actions. Try to point out the advantage and disadvantage if it helps list it out in a notepad and see which one is better or worse. 3. Try to look how your elders passed this feeling. They should not be your siblings but anybody who's close to you and understand the situation that you're in. How your role models passed this feeling when they were at the same age as you are. So learn from other people's mistakes not from your own.