First off, chin up! You should know a lot of people share how you feel. And you don't owe the world a thing, your life's value is not measured by your contribution, if this was the case the world would run out of people. And however horrific you current state is, it beats non-existence, if for no other reason, just that it is inevitable while life is a miraculous chance that can cease at any moment. Escaping where you are is no solution, rather take up a hobby, face the world and focus on what you like, if it matters to you pursue it, don't expect recognition or anything, just enjoy the diversion it creates. This is not to say trick yourself, just care for the things that you find worthwhile. Hope this helps.