For females sex has consequences, it is not just a means of expressing love, so naturally they require a strong sign of commitment from their partners before getting to that step. At least this was true up till the invention of contraception; you see birth control and condoms remove the invertibility of sex leading to a pregnancy, you just have to be wise enough to use them. But sadly we don't update our society fast enough and so sex is still seen as worrisome to women, we act as if there is nothing one can do to prevent pregnancy. From the natural cause and effect relationship of sex and pregnancy we stipulate that sex be tied to marriage, this secures the women partners to raise children. The problem is this perspective which is almost not at all reinforced, attempts to separate love and sex. Naturally we fall in love to have sex, it is the ultimate performance from which we savor love. Now this is not to say there isn't more to loving, there is plenty, it doesn't also mean that love has a specific goal or sex proves love or even of anything one can do in love sex beats all, rather it is to emphasis the role of sex. Sex is the ultimate biological way of enjoying our lover. As you point out, our evolutionary desire for sex is given a whole new allure when it is towards a special someone, this is what ties sex and love, not that you can perform it with anyone but its meaningfulness when with a lover. In other words sex is a leisure as much if not more than it is a tool of procreation. Our society shames this idea, everyone contemplates it, but non dare glorify. The subject of sex being taboo and celebration of virginity does more harm since natural urges always find a way and these make awareness and even prevention of consequences problematic. If you ask me I think it has to do with the role of women in our society, and I believe that in 20 or 30 years time no one will feel the need to ask your question. In an equal society women too will have sex whenever wherever, I am not saying I don't foresee courting but the independence from societal judgement and awareness of little room for consequence will definitely able women to embrace their sexuality, today is far better than the near past so will the near future. Finally and more practically I understand that there are different kinds of love, as there are different criteria females put for mating, another one of which besides commitment is physical attraction, and if two people are physically attracted and committed to one another especially for the lengths of time as you described, I think they not having sex is improbable, even if they are religious fanatics, nature usually wins.
May 08, 2025
