Tell you what, everything happens for a reason and the situation you're in will pass eventually and it will be a lesson, it will make you better in the future, you just have to let it pass. Write down everything that's bothering you ena try to fix them one by one. You're in a chaos and you can't figure out what's wrong and what's right. So here's what you can do, write every problem you're facing and look for a solution for each of them and start with one, if there's nothing you can do about it, then why stress tadia? If there's something you can do, write down a clear plan about it and try your best like give it 100% and you will feel better, even if it went wrong you tried aydel ende then you'll continue on the next one, the solutions will come to you this way only if you gave it 100%. Hope this helps. Goodluck.