23, I moved out of my parents’ house 4 months ago. TBH I feel like I’m living my best time and improving myself. The issue is I have sexual urge As a Muslim I don’t date, I don’t do sex or makeout bfr marriage so the solution is to get married thus I went to my parents and ask them to get me married my father was so happy like “yaa good I have this friend he got a beautiful girl, she has IMAN…” but my mother wasn’t THE PROBLEM IS THIS I have a sister almost 4yr older than me but she isn’t married yet. My mother didn’t literally say the reason but I understood and after that I even felt bad for asking so I never mentioned abt this topic from that day on. But sexual desire, living alone, working both outside and inside home, losing focus…. Is disturbing me. in both spiritually and mentally
Dec 23, 2024Brother let me tell you from experience we're so similar, don't wait for your sister or any other person, her time will come inshaAllah.....the best thing for you to do is assess your self and if you're able to provide for wife financially and emotionally then if you're ready regarding that get married, the hadith didn't say "wait for your elders to get married then get married" it said "if you can afford it, get married" i'm paraphrasing the wording here, the point is don't wait for this kind of silly reason, it is silly compared to the danger of those sexual urges, if you're not able to control it and give in it will ruin your relationship with Allah and its very hard to come back trust me, and in the meantime find ways to curb your sexual urge like fasting, developing hobbies, reducing alone time as much as possible, be with friends(trust me on this), cold shower...etc whatever works for you And another big advise is i know your mind so if you find a potential spouse let a 3rd person( like father, friend...) do the research for, and reduce direct talk as much as possible and even when there is direct talk in chat or in person, always involve MAHRAM who hears and sees what your talking ALWAYS, Never think we'll keep our boundaries even if we talk privately, i repeat it NEVER. Involving someone from your side is very good beccause right now your not in best place to judge someones character and all you think about is getting married and fulfilling your desire in a halal and proper way, and your sexual urge will make you skip the most obvious red flags( bad signs of behavior ) any normal person would recognize when choosing a wife. So listen to that 3rd person very seriously please. All this is from experience mine and your situation was like exactly the same but Alhamdulilah it turned out good for me One more big advise, beauty matters so never think beauty doesn't matter if she is religious, don't expect a supermodel but just normal acceptable beauty that you don't find her unattractive, if you find her a bit attractive then it will grow with time inshaAllah May Allah make it very easy for you
Dec 23, 2024