You will never find your answer unless you ask him. He might not have made a move on you back in high school because he thought you were not interested or were playing hard to get, so he asked out another girl who was genuinely interested in him and ended up getting a girlfriend. Now, your only options are either to tell him about your feelings directly and wait for his answer with confidence, or move on with your life and do the equivalent of what men do when they go through a heart break like hitting the gym, reading books, focusing on their goals, or whatever they do to work on their own life. And out of genuine curiosity, how can you love someone you haven't dated for 4 years? It's understandable to have a hard time remembering why you had a crush on a certain person after even just half a year.