I got u and i feel u i tired to committee suicide two times and i catch myself trying to not committee suicide and here is what i learn that nobody wanna die we just wanna kill something inside us depression is not easy specially in our country cuz a lot of people can't understand is and we don't also wanna talk about them cuz we are scared of seeing as weak...... to make long story short i survived i am happy and i wake up with smile and my advice for u is do your own research on how our mind work cuz the best way to control our mind is to know how it work if u know how your mind work u will make it work for u i know u don't have the motivation to do it but do it better than some people advice