This goes for any addiction its always a need to be met. But many people mistake it by saying focus on something else and forget it that shouldn't be the case but instead see what the root issue is so that u can recover from it and get ur needs met by God and trusted people.hope u read it patiently. ______ Just the other day, I counseled a guy who was struggling with pornography. He told me that he usually looks at porn about once a month or so. After listening to his story, I simply asked him, “What do you feel like right before you look at porn?” He said, “I feel lonely and out of control.” I began to ask him more questions to figure out where the loneliness and the feeling of being out of control were coming from. So I asked, “What was your childhood like? Tell me about your parents.” He explained to me that his dad had left him when he was young, and even though his dad is in his life now, they don’t have a deep connection at all. His mom didn’t quite know how to handle the divorce, and so in her best efforts to cope, she moved from place to place his whole life. As his past began to unfold before me, it became strikingly clear why he felt lonely and out of control. The most important people in his life (his mom and dad) were emotionally distant. When he needed them the most, they weren’t there to help him. To make matters worse, his mother’s inability to settle down created in him a feeling of hopelessness. Living out of boxes and never being able to settle down and plant roots created an incredible feeling of loneliness and instability. As a young child, he had no way of filling his need for intimacy. Therefore, pornography became his escape for feeling powerless and unknown. Before he came into my office, he thought he had a pornography problem; but when he left my office, he realized that pornography was a symptom of a much greater problem. He had never learned how to get his needs met through healthy relationships. Shame told him that if he asked someone for help, he’d be looked upon as irresponsible and ultimately be rejected. Now he knew that he needed to repent and change the way he thought about relationships and life. He needed to learn how to get his needs met from God and the community that surrounded him so that he could get free from his cycle of destruction and guilt.