Hey rosie, it hard to control what we say to ourselfs cos we are not the one saying it, its our sub concious mind . N it judges us by the same 'unrealistic' standards we set that have to be met by us n by others (morals). The sad part is we get our morals (standards) from the society thus it means the society controls the narrative inside our head. For example you know you have to stop procastinating ( cos the society told you 'lazy' is bad) so you torture urself for it constantly. Just remember , you are the creation of the allmighty , your existance is amaizing by itself, you are not created to do anything, you are created to do what ever you want (free will) n experience the society just as u percieve it . what ever past decissions you made , you were right according to your understanding and conciousness at the time. If you find it cringy now it doesn't mean u were wrong that means your conciousness has grown n its a good thing. What ever you decide you can't be wrong cos there is no one that can understand n answer your life decissions more than u you know you are a good person nothing else matters thats enough reason to love your self. You are amazing!, you are enough!, you are you‼. Hang in there n good luck sis 🙏🏾