Hello my dear, At first I want to encourage you for your intiative in asking this question boldly. To not confuse you I am a girl like you so I kinda relate to your problem. And to make my answer short and precise let me outline you the problem that I think you are having. So I hope you find this helpful. 1, Not understanding the definition or concept of love. 2, Not understanding the relationship a normal women/girl should have with a normal man/boy. • so for your 2nd problem: The main cause that is blurring your every interaction with man is your Hateness towards Them. Hateness is a very big word that can refer to extreme enmity toward something. And one can hate due to jealousy, misunderstanding, close mindedness or even by being judgemental. But in your case you seem to misunderstand the way how a boy and a girl are suppose to interact and seem to have a trauma. When I say trauma, i read this on some source and it says “Our negative feelings toward someone get stronger as bad experiences with them pile up, and these negative thoughts trigger the fight-or-flight response in our bodies, making us think 'I hate people' or a specific person. ” and as you have said in your question you think that when a boy get nears you its to use you and throw u when they are done having u. So here I will mention 4 points. 1, What is boy/men and girl/women? - Boys and Girls are equal human beings not even one of them being evil but which have a different personalities, desires, strength, weakness, Abilities and potentials. Part 1