Idk if it's wt u asked Here I was from strong Orthodox family. I was very religious too gen after I went boarding school grade 9 school I start not caring, stop all religious things like fasting, praying menamn I even started questioning things simply I get lost. I have seen that side of it was so dark and depressing it was just void. Gen now am trying to get back to God it's better to purpose while u r alive and have hope in sth.