Selam endet nesh. Enkuan Abroad Aderesen. Melkam Addis Amet Yihunelesh. I would like first to appreciate your honesty to share your feelings and ask for help. First, just because you have a "bad" relationship before, it does not mean you will have a great one in the future. The past is past. It's one chapter of your life which has it's own good or bad stories. The most important thing here is, you take the good lessons and learn from the bad lessons. There is nothing you can do about it after all whatever it is. If you feel guilty, ask an apology (confession to the guy and to your religious father(nisha abat)) If you feel hurt, forgive him. Then all your bad memories will flush. Second, you should feel happy about yourself. Because, the things you said shows clearly that you're matured. It's a sign of maturity to set criterion for yourself which you set out what you wanted. It's called self awareness. You know what you want and committed for it. It's a great quality trust me. I know a lot of boys and girls who doesn't know what they want, not even in relationship, even in life. One thing I can I advice you is, Give it a try sister. Get out of your comfort zone and try to get to know him. Success starts at the end of your comfort zone they say. I think it works for relationship too. The most important thing in relationship is Love. He already loves you (or adore) you. That is very good. One more thing, if he is a church boy, it means he has a fear of God. If he has a fear of God, it's rarely he will hurt you. Good luck dear sister. I wish I could say more than this. Any ways, may the great God will help you. Pray more, Worry less!